Why Bill Used His Cigar Instead of His Erection With Monica

Bill said that he had "hundreds of affairs" before "turning forty" but then he began a "concerted effort to be faithful," according to a conversation with Monica reported to the Starr grand jury. This suggests that he began to have a sexual potency problem at forty in 1986. A man who is periodically impotent and so fears erectile dysfunction when he attempts sexual intercourse has a reason to avoid it and to substitute masturbation and oral sex. The reason is fear of failure. The Starr Referral says, "...the President inserted a cigar into (Monica's) vagina and then put the cigar in his mouth and said, 'It tastes good.' " This is a statement about Bill's felt need for a better penis, more dependable, harder and maybe larger. Sometimes a cigar is more then just a cigar.
Monica tells us via the Starr report, "...that her physical relationship with the President included oral sex but not sexual intercourse...he touched her genitals...bringing her to orgasm on two occasions...initially the President would not let her perform oral sex to completion...(but) during their last two...encounters, both in 1997, he did ejaculate." The report said that on March 31, 1996 the President " '...focused on me pretty exclusively...' kissing her bare breasts and fondling her genitals...
Bill's preference for foreplay rather then sexual intercourse with Monica is the routine as he, "...'unzipped his pants and sort of exposed himself,' " when they meet in the Oval office. They had oral sex nine times and phone sex fifteen times according to the Starr report. Monica wanted sexual intercourse with Bill but it never happened although once there was "...brief genital to genital contact."
Maureen Dowd has it right when she tells us, "It is Ms. Lewinsky who comes across as the red-blooded predator, wailing to her girl friends that the President wouldn't go all the way. It is Mr. Clinton who behaves more like a teen-age girl trying to protect her virginity, insisting on holding back, reluctant to even remove any clothes, even pushing Ms. Lewinsky away and pushing up her slipping bra strap...emotionally upset about it...(saying) I'm trying to be good..."
Bill, a lustful seducer with a potency problem might just as well have said, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache," as he complained about his "sore back." Monica says, "We tried...but ...he couldn't bend because of his knee, it really didn't work..."
Psychoanalytic case studies are filled with men whose orgasm requires special conditions: exhibitionists who show their penis to women on the street, voyeurs who look at women undressing through a window, fetishists who stroke women's apparel like shoes and pedophiles who seek sex with a child. These may be lifelong perversions or just temporary regressions when unconscious infantile castration fears and sadomasochism reemerge. Perversions were identified by Freud as sexual behavior with infantile rather then adult goals. Some of these same behaviors are a part of normal foreplay leading to intercourse but for the pervert they are his only avenue to a sexual climax. The pervert is expressing his sexuality according to an infantile pattern so Bill regresses after the age of forty to an oral stage, avoids sexual intercourse and prefers fellatio, masturbation and phone sex. Hillary told a reporter that Bill has sex with her only twice a year or perhaps there is some truth in the Star, a tabloid that says that Bill hasn't had sex with her since 1986.
Bill's orgasms by phone sex and fellatio are an indication of oral dependency in a man whose Oedipus complex is unresolved so he avoids sexual intercourse in a new relationship during his midlife crisis, the male menopause. Consult Hillary's and Bill's Change of Life for details about it.
The choice of oral sex indicates unresolved problems originating in the unconscious . Oral sex avoids pregnancy so the love, responsibility, bonding and biological imperative of sexual intercourse are denied. Oral sex involves recreation not reproduction in the fantasies of the participants. Monica called it "fooling around" in her conversations with Linda Tripp. Oral sex is clothed sex and phone sex is even simpler since masturbation, unlike other kinds of sex doesn't require getting dressed up. Fellatio mirrors the nursing experience both for its giver and its receiver. Sexual fluids and semen are like milk in this unconscious scenario so both cunnilingus and fellatio have an analogy to offering or accepting the breast.
Why does Bill initially refuse to complete oral sex with Monica? She urges him to come but he doesn't trust her fully during their first seven encounters but finally during the last two episodes, he ejaculates. Bill's unconscious includes fantasies of oral impregnation so his inhibition is about oral pregnancy, an idea from infantile oral development. With the completion of oral sex with Monica, perhaps Bill's oral pregnancy fears become so threatening that he breaks off the affair.
Bill's withholding semen from Monica during oral sex is his unconscious control derived from his anal fixation. Bill, an anal compulsive as campaigner, speaker and leader gives up control reluctantly. Once he stops the oral sex part way through to climax and then Monica notices that he masturbates into the sink. He resumes control!
Cunnilingus for Monica is briefly an issue when she says, "The President 'was talking about performing oral sex on me' but she stopped him because she was menstruating..." Monica had control now. Was she really menstruating? Anyway isn't the yuck in the tongue of the beholder? Monica didn't accept Bill's offer later on either though Gennifer did enthusiastically in Arkansas and she says, "I had never known a man so eager to use his mouth for pleasure and so skilled at it." Bill wants oral sex equity with Monica as Mother but she continued to be the baby sucking on Mommy Bill's nipple-penis.
Bill expressed his oral sexuality with Gennifer too who says, "...Oral sex seemed like the natural thing to do, I was a little surprised, though, when he came in my mouth the first time we did it " The Paula Jones case started in Little Rock when she says she was taken to a hotel room by a State trooper in 1991 to meet Bill Clinton who briefly admired her and then dropped his pants and asked her to kiss his erect penis.
There is no question that Bill knew his behavior with Monica was "inappropriate" according to his Bible-based Baptist religion and so he felt guilt. See the section on Bill's Superego for an overview on his conscience. But the values of his conscience or superego were different by l996 at fifty when he began the Monica affair then they were in 1977 at thirty-one when his twelve year affair with Gennifer started.
How did Bill go from a pleasure- loving bubba to a prim middle aged worrier, from "I'll always be sixteen" to "trying to be good." Earlier he had gone from a repressed adolescent who had almost no dates in high school and was too fearful to have sex with Dolly Kyle Browning after the senior prom to a Don Juan with hundreds of affairs in his twenties and thirties.
When Monica called Bill "handsome" the Washington Post tells us he said, "When I look in the mirror, I sees (sic) a fat kid who couldn't throw a ball straight." Bill's low self esteem returned during his menopause with fears about his sexual potency and the likely experiences with impotence. His menopause or change of life started about forty in 1986 but ten years later it was still active. "I have an empty life except for my work," Bill told Monica. These are the words of the midlife crisis with its hormonal changes, depression, fear of aging and loss of virility. Probably there were personal precipitating events between 1986 and l996 so I await biographical details from Bill and the historians.
My section on Bill's Sadomasochism is background for the sadomasochism of his Lewinsky disaster. The influence of Bill's sadomasochism is stronger at fifty then it was at forty so his continuing midlife madness is fueled by this unconscious primitive pre-Oedipal force along with the castration fears. The near certainty of detection by political enemies, the denial and then the pain of exposure and apology followed by public punishment is Bill's sadomasochistic story. It applies to both the Lewinsky and Willey affairs and perhaps to others like one with Eleanor Mondale hinted at in the tabloids.
When does risk taking about sex in the White House become sadomasochism? It was a part of being the potus if you were Kennedy or LBJ when there was national denial about presidential adultery. JFK enjoyed events with the two nymphs Fiddle and Faddle in the White House pool guarded by the Secret Service. But in the Nineties sex in the Oval Office, in the nation's home is sadomasochistic as Starr and the news media snoop for Betty and John Q. Public, the prurient landlords.
Bill's sadomasochism in the Lewinsky and the Willey affairs involves his very visible sexuality albeit perverse and his public punishment as Elvis, the bad boy superstar. He has corrected the image of the awkward sissy who was the high achiever but didn't get dates. He's not just Elvis but James Brown too. Sure, it hurts but after Bill's sadistic pleasure in hurting the public and his wife, there is the healing by his masochistic pleasure when he suffers for what he did. This is largely unconscious for Bill and the public too but it's real enough to spend millions of public and private dollars on the time of legislators, courts and attorneys and the news media. Slick Willie like Tricky Dick is a sadomasochistic president with national affairs, coverups, denials and explanations.
At some point in my study of Bill's and Monica's oral sex life, I became aware that I needed a real life perspective. I knew that internet porn about oral sex, the counting of orgasms by social scientists and esoteric psychoanalytic theories about sexuality weren't the whole answer. Before I really had a chance to ponder this dilemma, I was at lunch with fellow senior citizens at a local university where we take classes.
The Starr report was just out so after a few comments about Clinton I asked, "Why do people want oral sex?"
" There won't be a pregnancy," a serious dark haired women pointed out.
"It's a power trip for Bill, " said a man with a cane.
"It doesn't do much for a women," said a smiling gray haired women with a single chin whisker.
"You don't have to take your clothes off, I suppose, if you're in a hurry," commented a women in a red jump suit whose lined face was like a venetian blind.
The last word about oral sex, "In cars," came from a senior who models grandfathers in TV commercials. It was an intense and all too brief focus group. Maybe I'll try another one.